Elizabeth Ann Goodwin was born on June 25, 2007.
Doug and I had been eagerly anticipating her arrival for 33 weeks.
We knew that something was wrong with her little body before she was born. We knew she would have a difficult life. Our lives, by extension, would be complicated and difficult. It didn't matter. We had waited and wished to have children our whole lives. We dreamed of the adventures daily life, holidays, family vacations, and numerous doctors visits would afford. Even now my heart physically aches as I reach back in time to write of this experience - our earthly loss.
The instant she arrived she was whisked away into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Her life was sustained by the respirator and kind, competent, exceptional nurses and doctors. She had Campomelic Dysplasia, a rare form of dwarfism. (I promise to write a more detailed description of her birth and illness at a later time.)
The next days were filled with a roller-coaster of emotions. It seemed like her prognosis changed hourly. Doug and I spent every possible minute with her. We were only allowed to hold her in our arms twice during her short life. It was too difficult for her body.
So, we would hold her hand, stroke her head, sing to her, talk to her, and pray with her. It would fill us with awe as she would turn at the sound of our voices. She would often attempt to open her eyes. She would be able to breath room air and get the oxygen she needed when Doug and I were there. (She would still be on the respirator just no supplemental oxygen.)
Our families and a few close friends rushed to our side. Thanks to my sister Rebecca we have more than a thousand photos and a beautiful video to share.
Then, all too soon, it was time to say goodbye. She passed away in our arms 6 short days after her birth. Her tiny chest cavity was just too small for her heart and lungs to properly function.
The next week was a blur as we prepared for the funeral, and buried our little angel. We couldn't help but think that this was not the way it was supposed to be. Our hearts would cry out, "It's unfair! Why us? Why Elizabeth? Why? How are we supposed to go on? We did everything right! We waited and waited and waited to find the right person to marry and were sealed in the temple! This is a righteous desire! This is more than we can bear! Why?"
It was our faith in Jesus Christ and his eternal plan that gave us the courage to get out of bed. It is still that faith, 3 years later, that binds us together and strengthens us through the days when anguish overtakes our hearts. We have seen numerous blessings in our lives and the lives of others because of Elizabeth's brief sojourn on earth. We are so proud to have been chosen to be her parents.
After a mandatory year we were pregnant again. On April 21, 2009 Rachel Lynne Goodwin was born. Rachel's presence in our home is a daily miracle. We can't imagine our lives without her. She can never take the place of Elizabeth. She is not expected to. But, her laughter and sunny disposition brings the warmth of the Savior's love to our home and hearts.
"I stand all amazed" as I contemplate the scope of the resurrection. One day we will all be resurrected. Elizabeth's broken body will be perfected. Doug and I will have the opportunity to raise Elizabeth during the millennial reign of Jesus Christ. We will again hold her hand and hug her close. It is because of Christ that Doug and I, Elizabeth, Rachel, and any future children will be together as a family in the eternal worlds. We rely on that promise to carry us through.
"I know that my Redeemer lives! What comfort this sweet sentence gives! He lives, he lives, who once was dead. He lives, my everliving head. He lives to bless me with his love. He lives to plead for me above... Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: 'I know that my Redeemer lives!'"
